Day Nineteen

Grateful day:

1. I am so grateful for my just incredible husband. He bends over backward to help me and is so good with my family and so kind to my nieces.

2. I'm grateful for my jobs! They are good! And I am lucky.

3. I'm grateful for a working car.

Day Eighteen

Okay.

After working about 10 of the 11 hours I worked today with the solitary person that I work with at both my shifts, I realized how my I apologizing I do! I apologize for everything! EVERYTHING!

If I was conversing face to face with you right now, I would now apologize for yelling and getting angry.

A resident at the LTC community that I was at when I had this realization, asked us to do something for him that took a second or two to do for him. After we handed him what he had asked for (what he will be eating for tomorrow's breakfast), he said with a large smile on his face, "I am now ready for breakfast!"

That was a great thank you and he never had to apologize for making us work a little to get him what he needed. I felt good he could have his breakfast set and that he was happy, instead of him leaving feeling sad and bad thinking he had caused us grief.

I need to be better about just thanking people and praising them instead of putting myself down and being angry at causing others grief all the time. People are genui

Day Seventeen

My dear husband, in our nightly prayers, just asked the Lord if He could help us to build an attitude of gratitude.

I have been a bit angry today at just a few of the ways things have gone. My husband also had us do a scavenger hunt today for items to symbolize parts of our courtship and marriage. I realized how pessimistic my responses were. I love being married, but I do spend a lot of time thinking how I wish I was out of school, out of my jobs, out of this hole in the ground.

I want tonight, and maybe at the end of each blog, to jot down a few of the things I am grateful for.

1) A very kind, dear, thoughtful and inspired husband that is living his life so well and so honorably.

2) Having 2 jobs and working full time.

3) Being healthy enough to work.

4) Getting my second job has been a blessing. It is a much more positive environment.

5) The assistant I have at my second job. She is very sweet, and above all, not dramatic. So grateful for that.

6) Being married. It has been a huge blessing and my husband blesses my life more ways than I think either of us realize.

Day Sixteen

I was studying for what I will be sharing with my husband as we study the scriptures tomorrow together. I came across a quote from Elder Dube. He stated that we often feel conflicted by others expectations for us. He pointed out that we should simply ask ourselves in these moments what action would help me to follow a path of righteousness.

He continued by making another great point even now, before I have children, all this little daily actions matter. They add up and they will effect generations after us.

I know all my choices also effect how I feel about myself. The better I act, the better I feel about my self, especially when those actions are bringing my life more inline with that the Savior would have me do.

Day Fifteen

Can you believe it is already the fifth of June! AHH! Where is the time going?

All winter, through the long, long, long winter, I look forward to having time off school and away from snow and bitter cold winds.

Then it comes and I get so busy and I easily find new ways to stress myself out. And the stress continues and the things we want to do often don't get done still.

My sweet husband just prayed that we could enjoy our summer whether it is on vacation or at work. He's very wise and inspired. The next section in Pres. Faust's address about "God's Love," is about loving work to boost your self esteem. There are many forms of work I really enjoy. My current work position, I am not as eager to return to each day. But it is only perspective.

This week, I am going to choose to be more positive about going to my places of work instead of seeing it as solely unwanted time away from my spouse and undue stress.

I am grateful for having paying positions that will help get me where I want to go in just a year from now. I will never have this summer back or these jobs back. I can choose to enjoy them while they are here and see the good in them. We can make time for the things we want to do this summer outside of work.

We will make it a great summer!

Day Fourteen

Finally, I was able to do some spring cleaning today! The Sunday evening session of this last LDS General Conference was playing in the back as I cleaned. Elder Dallin H Oaks, one of the twelve apostles called of God, spoke on how there is opposition in all things.

He gave the example of when the Prophet Joseph Smith, after months of all-day translation, sought to get the Book of Mormon publish. It took asking four different publishers and weeks of rejection. Elder Oaks speaks for the, "bewilderment," Joseph Smith must have felt. Why did it need to be that hard? He was called of God and he was on the Lord's errand. Eventually, the Lord provided away and the Book of Mormon was published, but not with out much sacrifice and opposition by Joseph Smith and other men and women called of God. 

I know in these moments, when I think I am doing something good, and I am met with so many trials and "unneeded" challenges, my mind often questions my Father in Heaven's love for me. I think, if He loves me so much, why would He let me hurt like this? 

It is inspiring to see other great people, who obviously were well loved of God, like every prophet ever, also have so many challenging points in their life. The way through is eventually made evident, as is the hand of the Lord throughout the process. 

I know that we don't experience trials because we are bad or have done something bad. It is hard to remember that in the moment, but we can hold on to the stories of how men and women went through much worse before us who were deeply loved by God. 

If He truly didn't love us, then He would want us to progress.

Day Thirteen

In the talk by President Faust I've been studying, he quoted George Lucas saying something to the fact that people can say what they want and he may say whatever, but nothing matters but what he will accomplish.

Far too often do I don't do things due to fear from what others will think of me -- even things like working out outside. But in thee end, what does it matter if I even make a fool of myself in the process, as long as I see the project to the end to accomplish what I set out to do.